#HMBlog: Andrew Tate lands in Florida after getting the boot from Romanian jail

TAMPA, Fla. — Andrew Tate, the self-proclaimed "Top G" has jetted off to Florida after Romania finally said, “Eh, we’re tired of you,” and lifted his travel ban. The influencer, who’s facing charges of human trafficking, underage shenanigans, and rape back in Bucharest, packed his bags and his brother Tristan—his loyal sidekick and fellow defendant for a sunny escape to the Sunshine State, according to NBC News.

…and you thought the tourists were bad.

Andrew and Tristan, who’ve denied all allegations with the energy of a toddler swearing they didn’t eat the cookies, are in Florida for totally unrelated reasons—like a defamation lawsuit they filed in Palm Beach County. Their lawyer swears their arrival on the same day as the court hearing is just a hilarious cosmic coincidence.

Romania’s anti-crime squad, DIICOT, shrugged to the AP on Thursday, admitting they’d loosened the Tates’ leash but refusing to say why. Meanwhile, Andrew, 38, a former kickboxer turned X-tra loud right-wing influencer with 10 million followers, keeps screaming that Romania’s got no evidence and it’s all a grand plot to mute his golden vocal cords. He and Tristan, 36, are also huge Trump fanboys—probably hoping Donnie will swoop in with a pardon on a golden golf cart.

Governor Ron DeSantis went on to say that Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier is looking into what the state of Florida can do on their end.

“The reality is, no, Florida is not a place where you’re welcome with that type of conduct,” DeSantis said.

#HMBlog: Governor Ron DeSantis goes DOGE-y Style on the State of Florida

Tampa, FL - Gov. Ron DeSantis announced today in Tampa his own version of DOGE, the newly created Department of Government Efficiency spearheaded my Elon Musk in the Trump Administration. DeSantis announcing he’s axing 70 state boards and commissions, of course, since he has a R by him name, half the population thinks this is a bad thing.

Democratic State Rep. Anna Eskamani released the following statement about Florida DOGE:

"Let's be clear: the Republican Party has dominated our state government for nearly 30 years, and any inefficiencies are a direct result of their long-standing mismanagement. It's laughable that after decades in power, they now pretend to know how to fix what they themselves have broken. This is the same Governor who has squandered millions defending unconstitutional laws, inflated his budget with unnecessary election police forces, and funneled taxpayer dollars into partisan electioneering. He has no credibility when it comes to improving government efficiency.

Cutting 740 state jobs—especially those that engage with the public, safeguard our health, and hold corporations accountable—is not reform; it's a reckless dismantling of essential services. Emulating the disorder seen in federal mismanagement under figures like Elon Musk is not only misguided but dangerous for our state's future. I call on our Governor and our legislative colleagues to stop creating more problems and instead focus on real solutions for the challenges our state faces."

Blah, blah, blah, you know the drill. It’s actually a GOOD thing we have unelected bureaucrats making policy and eating up tax payer money with unnecessary positions. I swear, it’s exhausting. See the announcement below:

#HMBlog: Florida Wingstop manger charged for throwing hot grease at customer

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. — A Wingstop manager in Port St. Lucie got a little too saucy on Jan. 28, allegedly chucking hot grease and ranch dressing at customers like it was the secret sauce to good service.

Nineteen-year-old Carnael Irene was caught on video spritzing the goods at some rowdy patrons, who fired back with their own counter-toss. Not one to leave a food fight half-baked, Irene grabbed some hot grease and let it rip. She later told cops the customers were loud and rude—because who hasn’t wanted to dump a vat of scolding hot grease on a noisy table?

Now, Irene’s facing aggravated child abuse and battery charges, proving that in Florida, even your wings are dangerous. Check out the video of the incident below:

#HMBlog: Tampa Bay's Beer Can Island goes for broke on Cryptocurrency

Pine Key—Affectionately known to the locals as Beer Can Island—has officially hit rock bottom, or rather, eight feet under water, thanks to Hurricane Helene. The storm had a blast, literally, taking out the concert stage, tiki bar, giant slide, and food truck. Then, because one hurricane wasn't enough, Hurricane Milton breezed through, giving the island the equivalent of a bad hair transplant.

This once-hot party spot is now as closed as a clam, expected to stay that way for another six to nine months. But in true entrepreneurial spirit, or perhaps desperation, Russell Loomis, one of the island’s owners sees this as a "reset." His new, plan? Dive into the murky waters of cryptocurrency.

Introducing $PineKey- this coin, available on pump.fun (seriously, who names these sites?), isn't just for laughs; it'll buy you food, drinks, and even a piece of this soggy paradise.

"We're building a whole new crypto-ecosystem on the island," Loomis said in a recent interview with the Tampa Bay Times, probably while nursing a beer with a mini floating umbrella in it. He envisions this as a groundbreaking first for private islands.

For a cool $1,000 in $PineKey, you too can own a share of this drowned dream. They've sold over 1,000 shares, with less than 500 left.

The island, nestled between Apollo Beach and MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa Bay, was once up for sale for $14.2 million. Apparently, no one was willing to shell out for a submerged Diddy Party.

Loomis and his crew are now playing adult Legos with architects, engineers, lawyers, and the county to rebuild. They're planning to elevate everything by at least 8 feet.

And if this crypto venture takes off, say goodbye to Beer Can Island and hello to Solana Island, named after the blockchain network that $PineKey lives on. Loomis has already jumped the gun, securing domain names and social media handles.

"There's really nothing like it on the planet," Loomis said, which, given the state of the island, might actually be true.

#HMBlog: Stolen Polk County Swans found & returned to Polk county (probably against their will)

LAKELAND, Fla. - In a plot twist that could only happen in the Sunshine State, two black swans named "Sterling" and "Luna"—along with their unhatched little ones—have taken a detour from their luxurious lifestyle at the Highland Village Mobile Home Park to the glamorous streets of Cutler Bay, Miami.

Here's the scoop: Imagine this: Sterling and Luna, the Brad and Angelina of the bird world, chilling in their nest when suddenly, two clowns, Jordan Montoya and Alfredo Casanova, show up with nets and a bucket. They probably thought they were going fishing for goldfish or meth. Instead, they nabbed these feathered celebrities right from under the community's nose, leaving everyone in the park more devastated than watching the last episode of RAW on Netflix.

"Today is probably the best day of my life," said Property Manager, Lynda Eddlemon. "We got our swans back thanks to Polk County Sheriff, the media and the news and everything that went out there." 

The heist was caught on camera, showing our would-be birdnappers taking a leisurely 30 minutes to commit their crime.

The swans, safe and sound, were located through a twist straight out of a telenovela. CJ Webber, a local swan enthusiast, got a surprise visit from one of the suspects who probably watched a FOX 13 report and thought, "Hey, I can be the hero here!" Instead of selling the swans on the black market, they decided to return them via Webber, who must've felt like he was in a bizarre episode of "Pawn Stars."

Webber also mentioned that the other three swans dropped off with Sterling and Luna were apparently stolen from a retirement center in Pompano Beach.

"They decided they wanted to return the swans, and they were remorseful for what they did so they decided to use me as a third party to get the swans back to the rightful owners," said Webber. 

#HMBlog: Just when you thought St. Pete wasn't gay enough, we get "Winter Pride"

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla.— Valentine’s Day is over, but apparently, St. Pete didn't get the memo that it's time to move on. They've decided to drag out the lovey-dovey nonsense for eight more days with what they're calling "Winter Pride." Gay…

It all started with a street party in the Grand Central District, because clearly, what this city needed was more people blocking traffic with their love celebrations.

From now until Feb. 23, you can endure drag performances from Jimbo of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars fame. And don't forget the Drag Race watch party, where you can sit around and watch TV, but in public, because nothing says excitement like that.

Then there's the street festival, where you can pretend you're at Mardi Gras but with less beads and even more assless chaps. And, oh joy, they've even included "pride for the pups," because dogs are gay.

If you're desperate for more information on how to party like Diddy in public, check out the Winter Pride website.

#HMBlog: USF President Rhea Law Steps Down—But Promises Not to Take the Football Stadium With Her

TAMPA, Fla. — University of South Florida President Rhea Law has decided to call it a career—but don’t worry, she’s not ghosting us just yet.

In a move that shocked absolutely no one (except maybe the person who just finished embroidering "President Law" on a fancy office chair), Law announced she’ll be stepping down once the university finds someone brave enough to fill her shoes.

Law initially took on the interim role in August 2021 before making it official in March 2022. She always planned to be a bridge to the next leader, but now that the bridge is looking more like a high-speed expressway, she’s ready to pass the baton.

USF took a moment to flex Law’s biggest wins, like breaking ground on an on-campus football stadium (finally!), opening a shiny new Honors College and wellness center, and getting USF into the elite Association of American Universities—something no Florida public university had done in decades.

The search for the next USF president is officially on and I’m around. I’ll do it. LMK.

#HMBlog: Polk County woman accused of attacking man with garden hoe after plans to 'hang out' fell through

FROSTPROOF, Fla. – A Polk County woman took rejection way too personally after her plans to "hang out" got canceled—by attacking the guy with a garden hoe.

Authorities say 47-year-old Melanie Davis wasn’t thrilled when the victim called off their plans, so naturally, she did what any totally rational person would do: she showed up at his Frostproof home at 3 a.m. and started screaming at him from outside. Because nothing says "Let's talk this out" like a middle-of-the-night fence-climbing session.

According to investigators, Davis didn’t stop at yelling—she scaled the fence, barged through his door, and started swinging (literally, with her fists at first). Then, for reasons known only to her, she upgraded her attack weapon to a garden hoe, leaving the victim with a nasty cut on his arm. Gardening tools: not just for weeds anymore.

Charges:

• Armed burglary with battery (because breaking and entering just wasn’t enough)

• Aggravated battery with a deadly weapon (yes, a hoe counts)

• Simple battery (probably the least of his worries)

• Criminal mischief (as if the rest wasn’t mischievous enough)

Fun Fact:

According to Polk County inmate records, Davis has been arrested 28 times in 28 years—keeping the drive alive.

#HMB-sides: Mike Calta

A podcast at least 6 or 7 years in the making. 102.5 The Bone's Mike Calta joins me to talk radio and what races we are attracted to the most.

The Mike Calta Show
Calta & Kelly Podcast

#HMBlog: Tampa Bay Lightning's Mathieu Joseph eats poutine out of the Stanley Cup

As Afghanistan fell back into the hands of the Taliban this week, another failed Terror State celebrated with the Stanley Cup in a delicious manner. Our own Mathieu Joseph, a native of Quebec took the cup back home and filled it with the rich Canadian treat consisting of cheese curds, french fries and brown gravy.

No word on if he finished the whole thing, but now that the war in Afghanistan is over, we have plenty of firepower to send to our “neighbors” to the north. Check out the video below:

Now that’s fine dining. 🏆🤌@MathJoseph7 pic.twitter.com/5qi2rbWSRS

— Tampa Bay Lightning (@TBLightning) August 15, 2021

#HMBlog: Lightning's national anthem singer battling COVID-19 despite being vaccinated

10 Tampa Bay reporting:

Tampa Bay Lightning fans are rallying behind the team's national anthem singer Sonya Bryson-Kirksey after reports said she was dealing with serious health matters.

10 Tampa Bay reached out to her husband, Jimmie Kirksey Jr. and he confirmed she was in the hospital with COVID-19. He says she was admitted July 16 to the hospital and is not on a ventilator.

Kirksey says his wife is immunocompromised. And, he says if she hadn't gotten the COVID-19 vaccine shot, "she might not be here."

He tells us he can't visit her in the hospital and said, while she's in good spirits, it's been hard being alone.

Jimmie Kirksey provided the following statement to 10 Tampa Bay:

"She's doing better. Still having problems breathing. She wants everyone to please get the vaccine. Even though she got the Delta Variant. She got it from an unvaccinated person. She has MS so her immune system is not as strong as mine. I've been with her and didn't get it. But my immune system isn't like hers. If she hadn't gotten the shot she might not be here. People are coming in with the Delta Variant and wanting the shot now. Doctors are telling it's too late. And they are going straight on ventilation. It has to run its course. But prayers are what we need at this moment. Thank you all for love and support ❤"

#HMBlog: The Stanley Cup was involved in an accident...

Yikes! A photo just emerged on Twitter from @BoltsJolts of what appears to be (who else?) Pat Maroon holding a dented Stanley Cup.

That’ll buff out. https://t.co/lpTMYYMBzq pic.twitter.com/25A11bdY2t

— Bolts Jolts (@BoltsJolts) July 12, 2021

Whoopsie Daisy…look, accidents happen when you’re having fun (& we are). No comment yet on the incident but I figure it will go something like this:

#HMBlog: Well, "Champa Bay" is officially Cringe.

The Shark was jumped today, “Champa Bay” is officially CRINGE. The official White House Twitter account put the nail in the coffin with a tweet this afternoon, subtweeting President Biden’s congratulations to the team for helping America take down Canadastan in the Stanley Cup final.

CHAMPA BAY https://t.co/x9szle25yI

— The White House (@WhiteHouse) July 9, 2021

It was already teetering on cringe last night, when our Pulitzer winning newspaper, the Tampa Bay Times changed their Twitter name to “Champa Bay Times”

decided @TB_Times needed a rebrand 😝📰 #gobolts #StanleyCup pic.twitter.com/IFoUyxAFdi

— Bernadette Berdychowski (@bberdychowski) July 8, 2021

Yea, I dunno, maybe I’m a stick in the mud but I hate puns as it is and when you see nerds takeover a thing and start using it, it’s always over. Just ask #BlackTwitter and as always, Go Bolts.

#HMBlog: Lakeland to host Great Florida Bigfoot Conference this Saturday

Is there a better place for a Bigfoot conference than Lakeland, Florida? This Saturday you can catch some cryptozoologists talk Bigfoot, better knows as the “Skunk Ape” here in Florida which is allegedly hiding somewhere in Myakka State Park. I like to think of the Skunk Ape as the Ultimate Florida Man, personally.

From 10 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. in the RP Funding Center’s Youkey Theatre, Skunk Ape experts, cryptozoologists, investigators, myth-busters and Bigfoot-related vendors will gather in a day of discussion and panels. The focus will be on Bigfoot, but more specifically, the elusive Florida Skunk Ape. In Florida, there is no definitive statistics on Skunk Ape sightings, but The Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization lists 332 Skunk Ape sightings in Florida, most recently in January.

So head on down to Lakeland this weekend, nerds. Check out the event page HERE to get tickets.

#HMBlog: Lightning Championship Boat Parade planned for this Monday & Nikita Kucherov slams beer & Montreal at post-game presser

The Tampa Bay Lightning won their second Stanley Cup in as many years last night, beating the Montreal Canadians 1-0 in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final. Another Championship means another boat parade, that scheduled to take place this Monday July 12th on the Tampa Riverfront according to Fox 13.

A highlight of the post-game fun was a shirtless Nikita Kucherov slamming a beer and the city of Montreal. “The fans in Montreal, come on,” said Kucherov. “They acted like they won the Stanley Cup, last game. You kidding me? You kidding me? Their final was last series, ok.” Kucherov was also unhappy about his goalie, Andrei Vasilevskiy, being snubbed for the Vezina Trophy, awarded to the best goalie in hockey every year & closing out his displeasure with a very fitting “number one bullshit”, we couldn’t agree more. Check out the full clip below:

#HMBlog: Tampa comedian Cam Bertrand will compete on ‘America’s Got Talent’

Catch Tampa comic and former guest Cam Bertrand on tonight’s episode of America’s Got Talent. Cam has come a long way from the Sly Bar Comedy Open mic & it’s great for the Tampa comedy scene to have him represented on National TV, good luck Cam.

Congratulations @CamTheComic, long way from the Sly Bar open mic to here! https://t.co/XJshsLve5c

— Will Kuncz (@home_made_man) July 5, 2021

#HMBlog: Tampa Mayor Jane Castor says she wants the Lightning to lose tonight in game 4 of the Stanley Cup Final

Tampa Mayor Jane Castor is drawing some heat today for saying she wants the Lightning to lose tonight’s Game 5 in the Stanley Cup Final so the team can come back home on Wednesday and win it at home.

HOT TAKE: Mayor @JaneCastor thinks the Bolts should ditch the sweep and win the #StanleyCup in 5. What do ya think, #bolts fans? #GoBolts @TBLightning @BN9 @SpecSports360 pic.twitter.com/edPLUlAR3H

— Adria Iraheta ⚡️ (@AdriaIrahetaTV) July 4, 2021

She’s not wrong, it would be cool to win the cup here at home. The Bucs were able to do it at home this year in the Super Bowl and it would be cool to win two championships at home in the same year but would you risk it? It’s unlikely that Montreal could come back in this series but you never know. The team, no doubt, wants to end it tonight. Yes, winning at home is great and all but it would also be nice to win that failed terror-state’s main export, the Stanley Cup in their own country and take it back home the day after we celebrated America and it’s independence. Either way, Montreal will probably go up in flames tonight. Mission accomplished, we hope. USA! USA! USA! Go Bolts!

George W Bush GIF from Missionaccomplished GIFs

#HMBlog - C'MON MAN! Biden, Trudeau bet on NHL Stanley Cup finals

WASHINGTON, June 28 (Reuters) - U.S. President Joe Biden has accepted Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's offer they bet on the National Hockey League's Stanley Cup finals between the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Montreal Canadiens.

In a Twitter post on Monday night, Trudeau challenged Biden. “Two of the best teams in the NHL are facing off right now. How about a friendly wager, @POTUS?” using Biden’s Twitter handle.

“You’re on pal. #GoBolts,” Biden responded.

You’re on pal. #GoBolts https://t.co/jOhA7IB2bE

— President Biden (@POTUS) June 29, 2021

The exchange of tweets did not say what the two leaders were wagering, but hopefully it’s a wall built on the border to shield us from the failed terror-state known as “Canada”.

#HMBlog: Former Tampa Bay Buccaneer & current Raider, Carl Nassib, makes history as first active openly gay player in the NFL

Las Vegas Raiders defensive lineman Carl Nassib became the first active NFL player in history to announce that he is gay. Nassib played for the Buccaneers in 2018-19 and has 12.5 sacks during that time. He took to his Instagram to make the announcement:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Carl Nassib (@carlnassib)

“What’s up people,” Nassib posted on Instagram. “I’m at my house in West Chester Pennsylvania. I just wanted to take a quick moment to say that I’m gay. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now but finally feel comfortable getting it off my chest. I really have the best life, the best family, friends and job a guy can ask for.

“I’m a pretty private person so I hope you guys know that I’m not doing this for attention. I just think that representation and visibility are so important. I actually hope that one day, videos like this and the whole coming out process are not necessary, but until then I will do my best and my part to cultivate a culture that’s accepting and compassionate and I’m going to start by donating $100,000 to the Trevor Project. They’re an incredible organization, they’re the number one suicide-prevention service for LGBTQ youth in America.”

Nassib, 28, is enterting his sixth NFL season, his second with the Raiders after stints with the Browns and Buccaneers. He has 20.5 career sacks.

#HMBlog: Facebook hoax or naked truth for Siesta Key?

Good news for Sarasota deviants, the East section of Siesta Key Beach is now clothing optional from 6am to 9pm. All of you sick bastards can now let it all hang out and sun your BH between those hours guilt free…

“We would like to remind everybody that on June 9th, the East section of Siesta Key Beach will be designated as a ‘Clothing optional’ beach from 6am to 9pm,” reads last Monday’s Facebook post from an account called “Sarasota County.” “Please plan your beach days accordingly and have a great week!”

Of course, this isn’t true. It’s from a satire Facebook page called “Sarasota County”. I mean, it looks legit from the name but the page is pretty clearly marked in it’s description: Your #1 source for *REAL current events in Sarasota and surrounding areas. If you are looking for the Official Sarasota County Government page, please visit https://www.facebook.com/SRQCountyGov/. We are a satire account. *parody

Sorry freaks, keep your dongs and giners in your swimsuits & remember to not take everything you see on the Internet as gospel or your might end up showing your ass, literally.